posted 10th November 2026
A Mesher order is one way of dealing with the family home on divorce where there are children. It allows one parent to stay in the property with the children for a set period, with the home being sold and the proceeds divided at a later date. The name comes from the 1980 case of Mesher v Mesher.
Mesher orders were widely used in the 1980s and 1990s. Today most professionals in this area regard them as a last resort, to be considered only where no other arrangement can meet the children's housing needs. This guide explains how they work and why they now tend to be avoided where possible.
How a Mesher order works
The property usually remains in joint names. One parent lives there with the children and the sale is postponed until a particular event happens. These trigger events commonly include:
- the youngest child reaching 18 or finishing full-time education
- the parent living in the property remarrying or living with a new partner for a set period
- the death of the parent living in the property
When a trigger event happens, the home is sold and the proceeds are divided in the shares set out in the order.
Why the courts are less keen than they once were
When deciding a financial settlement, the court must consider whether a clean break between the parties is appropriate. This duty is set out in section 25A of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. A Mesher order does the opposite: it keeps the two of you financially tied together, often for many years. Over time the problems with these orders have become clear and the courts now tend to look first at whether the home can be sold or transferred so that both of you can move on.
The disadvantages
- You remain financially tied for years. If your youngest child is very young, a Mesher order may last well over a decade. During that time you remain joint owners and may both remain liable for the mortgage.
- The problem is postponed rather than solved. The parent who stays will still need to find a new home when the trigger event happens, possibly at an age when a mortgage is much harder to obtain and with only a share of the equity to put towards it.
- The parent who moves out cannot use their capital. Their share is tied up in the property, which may make it difficult for them to buy a home of their own.
- Remaining on the mortgage. The parent who moves out may still be named on the mortgage, which can affect their ability to borrow elsewhere. If payments are missed, both of you may be affected.
- Disputes along the way. Disagreements often arise over who pays for repairs and improvements, whether the property is being properly maintained and whether a new relationship has triggered a sale.
- Circumstances change. An arrangement that seemed fair when the order was made may look very different years later, but the shares are usually fixed and difficult to change.
- No real fresh start. Remaining linked to a former partner through a shared property can make it harder for both of you to move on, emotionally as well as financially.
Points that need to be covered
If a Mesher order is the only workable option, the wording needs to deal with what may happen over the years. This includes who pays the mortgage, insurance and repairs, what counts as living with a new partner and what happens if the property needs to be sold early. A poorly drafted order may store up problems for the future.
Alternatives to consider first
Before agreeing to a Mesher order, it is worth looking carefully at whether one of the other options could work:
- selling the property and dividing the proceeds so that each of you can rehouse
- one of you buying out the other
- offsetting the home against other assets, such as pensions or savings
You can read more about these options in our article What Happens to the Family Home on Divorce?. The government also provides general guidance on money and property when you divorce or separate.
How The Divorce Negotiator can help
We help couples explore all the options for the family home and reach a settlement that allows both of you to move forward. Once you have reached agreement, we draft the consent order and supporting court papers, so you do not need to instruct a solicitor separately.
- Mediation and drafting in one place. Your settlement and the order that makes it binding are handled together.
- Telephone and video. We help couples anywhere in England and Wales.
- Experience. We have been helping couples reach financial settlements since 2017 and have dealt with hundreds of cases.
Frequently asked questions
Can a Mesher order be changed later?
The shares in the property are usually fixed and may be difficult to change. Some other terms may be varied in limited circumstances.
Can the parent who stays buy the other out before the trigger event?
The order can allow for this, usually at the agreed percentage of the property's value at the time.
Is a Mesher order only for married couples?
Mesher orders are made on divorce or the dissolution of a civil partnership.
Talk to us about your family home
If you are considering what to do with your family home, get in touch for a free initial conversation.
