posted 25th August 2023
Financial Abuse in a Relationship
Financial abuse, also called economic abuse, is a legally recognised form of domestic abuse in the UK. It involves one partner controlling the other's access to money and the things money buys: food, clothing, transport, somewhere to live.
It rarely happens on its own. It usually sits alongside other forms of abuse.
What it looks like
- Controlling all the accounts, so one partner has no access or has to ask
- Monitoring or questioning every purchase
- Preventing the other from working, or sabotaging their job
- Taking wages or benefits that belong to the other
- Running up debt in the other's name, sometimes without their knowledge
- Withholding money for essentials
- Damaging or selling the other's possessions
- Refusing to contribute while controlling what the other spends
The common thread is control rather than the amount of money involved. It happens across every income level.
Why it is often not recognised
It builds gradually and is frequently presented as sensible household management. Someone who has had no access to the accounts for years may not know what exists, what is owed or what they are entitled to.
Debt built up in one partner's name affects their credit record for years afterwards, which can make leaving harder. That is sometimes the point of it.
Where to get help
- *National Domestic Abuse Helpline* (England) — 0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours, run by Refuge
- *Live Fear Free* (Wales) — 0808 80 10 800, free, 24 hours
- *Financial Support Line for Victims of Domestic Abuse* — 0808 196 8845, specialist help with debts, benefits and budgeting
- *Men's Advice Line* — 0808 801 0327
- *Galop*, for LGBT+ support — 0800 999 5428
- *Surviving Economic Abuse* — survivingeconomicabuse.org
If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
Where this affects a financial settlement
A settlement depends on both parties disclosing what they have. Where one partner has controlled the finances throughout, the other may be starting from no knowledge at all, and establishing the full picture becomes the first task rather than a formality.
Debt taken out in one party's name without their knowledge or consent is relevant to how the debts are divided.
Mediation is not always the right route
This needs saying plainly.
Mediation depends on both parties being able to negotiate freely. Where there has been domestic abuse, including economic abuse, that is often not possible, and mediation may not be appropriate.
Domestic abuse is a recognised exemption from the requirement to attend a MIAM before applying to court. Nobody in that position should feel they have to attempt mediation first.
If you are unsure whether your circumstances make mediation unsuitable, one of the organisations above is the right place to start rather than a mediator.
